I have been away for months i know. I had so many things to do: two little kids to take care of non stop, a husband a house etc... but if i have to be sincere i would admit that i did not have the envy nor enthusiasm to continue this adventure. I stopped and look at what i was really doing on this blog. Was it really reflecting the whole me? Then i realised i wanted, i needed to give it another direction.
I found myself so futile and superficial and i knew deep down i was not only this. I wasn't only trends,clothes and shoes. Then i understood that after years of living in a foreign country and as part of a minority i started self-censored myself thinking that i did not have the right to say what i think because i will be judge, because i would be notice and maybe exposed to odds comments. The point is many at times in my entourage when talking about race
friends will ask me"what are you complaining about dear? You are a priviledge one!" Because i have prada and miu miu i am superior to the black woman who faces everyday what being different is? Or i did not have the right to give my opinion on politics because i am not Italian nor European? And you then understand that is where you fit in. You have been upgraded just because you are a black who can have some designer stuff or a car. Because for many the thought that maybe you knew what a Prada is when you were in africa or the fact you maybe had a german car at home is unthinkable. So I questionned myself and the thruth is i wanted to get back and be that girl who was committed in things that was important for her. The girl who was not afraid to say what she thinks. The girl who till 20 years was always angry according to her friends because she always had something to say.
I Wanted to turn the years back when i knew
everything was possible and that sky was my limit. But most of all i decided to become more engaged and to get my voice heard because of my two kids. They are mixed and one day they will have to face discrimination because half black, maybe they will have a University Professor that one day will tell them as it happened to me" No you can't have your master degree." Just because You are judge less intelligent than the caucasians.
And i did not let him get to me because i had parents who always told me i could be what i wanted to. I want to be that parent to my children. I
want to leave them a mark, something they can hang on. Internet through blogs, Instagram, Facebook or twitter give us the great opportunity to say our word without necessarily being a famous person or whatsoever.
For my few followers i would like to reassure you that being engaged doesnt mean i will stop posting outfits and talk about fashion. I am a woman and it is all part of me.