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Published in: Inspirations

Single Life.

By Belise


Being One, being Me, being an Only,  seems to bother everyone but me. Again that is because it is me, about my life, my right, my decision. However, doesn't change the fact that I find it very irritating that I am being asked repeatedly why I am still single, with added insults like: "A beautiful girl like you? Can't believe you are still single!" What does that even mean?? 

  I have lived a full and rich single life by choice and not by circumstances. I had been told repeatedly that when you reach a certain age you should really consider making a compromise on that list of the perfect, not to say Prince Charming because you would not be marketable anymore..... again, what does that even mean? 

I refuse to make any changes to the characteristics I am looking for in a husband. I refuse to compromise. Why should I compromise? When I was created, no compromise were made. I was made beautiful and truly perfect. For either myself or for everyone to see. IYes! My mother is not getting any younger, yes my grandmother could be at death's door any moment, but does that mean I have to sacrifice my beliefs and my needs for the needs of others? Why should I settle for something I did not sign up for?? Society is already taking enough out of me. I am already making compromises in my career, my academic, my time, and vacation that I would prefer not to; now you are telling me I also have to compromise in my choice in whom I would be enduring life ever after? I say No. This is where I remain unshakable. 

Someone told me today, that she hopes to get married someday and that being in a relationship, is remembering that you are not there alone;you have other people to consider before making any decisions. Other than your partner, there are also the family members to consider. If harsh decisions are made without considering the other person's family then I am 'selfish'. She also mentioned that relationships are full of ups and downs. Just remember that as long as it is not life threatening to you, then you have got to stay in it and fixe it as much as you can and compromise-

There is that word again. Compromise... WTH(pardon my French). What is this concept I am hearing of "if the relationship is not threatening your life you should stay and fixe it... do not be selfish!" 

Waouh!!!! I am so sorry dear, may be you are not aware of this, but there is what we call a slow poison and instant poison. The first one creeps up on you... slowly killing you by building up toxins, which eventually kills you. The last one just kills you. Men with whom you are not compatible with easily create both and come out scot-free.

I would rather stay away from both. So guys, stop asking me why I am still single. It is my full right, full choice. I am not complaining. 

If you are using compromise in the wrong context. That is your problem. If you are SETTLING instead of living; that is your prerogatives. I choose to live, dream, and continue to believe in my self and what I have to offer. After all, I was made an individual. I was created to be me. To chose, decide, walk on this planet as I am, without any invocation of compromise. Guys, if you are looking for an authentic person with faults and values, who is not perfect but knows what she wants and where she is going-living her life as it come- a beautiful, non-perfect human being-Me. You know where to find me (right here on this bridge enjoying this beautiful view) 


Belise is a life lover, optimistic woman. Born and raised in Cameroon she now lives in the US where she works. Proud black and African, very open minded and curious about others culture and lifestyle.

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