We often talk about cutting off all the toxic friendships we have to surround ourselves with positive people. But what if we need to keep at least one of those negative friends to boost us, to make us work harder to prove him/her wrong. You may think i lost my mind lol...I am not talking about a love relationship. That is totally different and you should get rid from a toxic love affair if you are involved in one. Someone you spend your time with daily or with whom you live has the ability to destroy your self love and confidence daily with its negativity, so please RUN!!!. But that friend each time you see who always says the wrong thing, something that pisses you off, it may be something about your family, your look or your life just to remind you it isn't perfect( as if you ever said it was), keep her and use her!
I have a girl friend like that. Everytime i was coming from a coffee meeting with her, half of my day was spoiled. She would smile, laugh but something bitter would always come out of her mouth, she would put it in a subtle, innocent way (aren't you afraid the fact you are not home always can damage your marriage? Why don't you do something about those spots on your face? if i was in your shoes i'll feel guilty to leave my children to move around and so on ...) but the harm was done.
So i decided to put her away. I spent months without seeing her only to realise one day whilst sitting on my desk in lack of inspiration, that the best ideas i've come with, in the past, was days following our reunion... seriously! Her negativity, her pettiness pushed me to work harder ... Her words didn't mean a thing but still they would hit my mind. It was as if i had to prove to myself what she said was false by working hard, by being more successful... what i failed to realised before is, she was bitter because she didn't wanted me to have the life i have. And the more she felt i was successful and doing great the more she was angry with me.
The mature me i've become is now learning how to use that bitterness to my advantage. I no longer ghost her... each time i feel i'm not moving forward, i'm in lack of inspiration i call her for a coffee. I can imagine her happy she is to come and ruin my day but what she's not aware of is that her venom motivate and inspire me.
Now all this may sound egoistic and cynical but there's nothing selfish in loving yourself.